I'm a year older!

It's my birthday! Ihave had am amazing day and looking back, I had an amaZing day!

Top 5-
5. School: this was an amazing year!
4. Party: my brother is the best!
3. Friends: I met some amazing friends
2. Talkers: I feel like I fit in with adaults and feel I have 3 moms!!!
1. It's a secret... But it made wish come true!

I have to go!
Love,
stargirl

Hello!

I am freaking out right now...
The girls are trying to mess up my life... But its okay... i think. I just hope C.b listens to me when I say: don't add them on facebook! Now i am just trying to calm myself...

Today has been good. I cant wait to be home because I miss all my friends! Lil' Z and C.b, and everyone else! I actually can not wait for school to start!

I have to go to lunch, but I will write later if I can!
Love,
Stargirl

Awkward situations and Journals

Hello,
I have to tell you all that when it comes to feelings and explaining them I am awkward at it and it always sounds weird. Which is why I write so much in my journals.

So, I owe a couple of people an apology. I won't name names but sorry for well... Making things difficult.

My 4 journals are being kept up really well and I find I use one a lot more than others I have. This is my letter journal. Instead of being a journal type document I write entrys as letters to my 5 best friends that are in my life right now. It works a lot better,but is confusing because sometimes I tell different friends different things. I write so often and have been writing in it for a month! I need another because I am almost out of pages. My mom will be surprised!

I am going to write a book about my camp experiance here because I do a lot of fun stuff and I have met a whole bunch of new people...

Camp update:I bruised my shin playing soccer and am currently icing it. It's a little pained but I will live.
Exciting stuff, right?

I love Life... :)

Life is sooo great right now... yes, I still have 2 weeks of camp and a week of vacation, but life is wonderful. I am on cloud 9! I am so happy!

The best part is that its almost my birthday and I get to celebrate what a wonderful year it has been and how I hope this year is even better.  I wanted to share some things about the highlights of this year:

1. I found 5 amazing friends... until this year I have never had true friends and now I have 5!
2. I met a whole bunch of new people that were all diferent, and pretty cool.
3. I had a surprise birthday party: I had always wanted one and the best part was it was all my older brother who thought of it!
4. I experienced a great year in high school
5. I  was actualy happy.

I have to go... but I will see when I can write again!
Love,
Stargirl

Eating out...

Hello!
I did write everything, but it was being stupid and it didnt save so I really dont want to write it all out again. I went out to eat tonight and found it hard to stay on track and eat something healthy. My dad asked for a menu showing the calories and fat and that helped. I had chicken and a baked potato and the unlimited salad bar. It was okay.
I wanted to say, we are presented with challenges, but there is no challenge in your life you can't overcome.

Love,
Stargirl

Life...at the moment:

Hey!
I am with my family here and the week is almost over... They drove six hours to see me and are staying untill Sunday afternoon. I am really happy about that. And then, I only have two more weeks left! And I can go home and live a happy life.
And I have my birthday coming up! I am sooo happy... and then of course there is all the stuff I am looking forward to when I get home and people I get to see! Yes... I miss a lot of people. Like Lil'Z and C.b and Hot Stuff and all my other wonderful friends!!!

I don't know what to think of camp. I like some things and hate others... But its okay. It is becoming routine and a little more like home.  And my feet stopped hurting. I have multiple blisters and am sick of walking everywhere. For morning walk we walk 2 miles. And I have to walk to every activity... but its getting easier.

I am getting a long better with the girls. It hard though because I don't act like them! They just don't hold the same stanards I do. It can be difficult. My counsilers are okay people. One is really cool and one has mood swings and is a blonde :) she once took us to thw wrong place and we had to walk all over the place and we were late.

Its late and I need to get some sleep. Love,
Stargirl

Yes! I miss you...

How hard is this concept? Yes. I miss you. I am a thousand miles away and I miss you! I think it's funny when people assume I don't miss home, or family, or friends. Why wouldn't I?

Camp is good, I am homesick and tired but Its fine. My family is coming up to see me and I can't wait for their visit. My mom and Marcus are in Utah, so they won't be coming, but my dad and Zachary and Marissa are coming.

Camp Update:

Third day and Its not bad. Othwer girls are homesick, but I don;t feel very homesick and all the other girls are. But i have been alone before so it is okay.

I wish I could write everyday... but I am on a busy schedual.

I miss my friends and family though. I want them to be here so I could talk to them.

Here, I don't fit in. I don't talk like them, dont act like them and don't think like them, I am not very energetic, but I am always happy and try to keep them happy. I don;t feel lonely because I  am away from family like them because i travel and I don't swear. I am constintly thinking of what I know, what to know, and learn and about the future, they don't. 

I know none of these things are bad, but i feel a gap between us. 

I hope it gets better. 

 

Love,

Stargirl  

First Day's at Camp

I am here at camp and it is crazy... I like my group, the humming birds. They are all great girls although I don't seem to belong in there group. I hope I make new friends soon. I don't have much time to write this but I wanted to update my readers.

So far, I like what i've done. We have walked, ate breakfast, gone to a meeting and after this we are going to power walk around the gym...

I know this isnt very informational so let me tell you more. I am going to a weight loss camp and am enjoying it. I could care less about loosing weight, but hope to achieve many goals while I am here and learn to live on my own. So far everything is pretty great. I will write again on wednesday!

 

Stargirl

 

Leaving...

I leave at 11 this morning and am so nervous I cannot think. I am freaking out about camp, the airplane, meeting new people, and leaving the friends I have her. It will all work out... that's what i keep telling myself... but my mind wont shut off so... i don't know what to do.

My friends told me they would email me... but I am starting to doubt it, although I should have some faith in them. But I need them to email me so i don't feel so alone. I just need to remember everyone is in the same boat I am and in the same situation. I just need to calm down and breath. It will all work out.

It didnt help that a girl called me fat and told me I was ugly with no style sense. I told her it was what was on the inside that counted, not the outside. She then swore at me multiple times and told me I spoke like a 40 year old grandma. I said thank you for the compliment, because I do try to be as wise as can be even though i wanted to scream at her. I was taught not to be rude and therfore I wasnt rude to her and didnt scream at her. It just made me feel Ugly and sad and I dont want to go away being sad.

I texted C.b telling him I was nervous but i think I annoy him because I tend to text him a lot and that is most likeky why he never texted me back. I wanted to talk to him... but it will have to wait.

I will try to post every week if I can, but I cannot make any promises.

Stargirl

Too much

I have to much to write about and not enough time or space. So here it is in three sentences...

1. I leave on Sunday and am very nervous to go to this camp
2.I am angry that my friend wont talk to me and I need to talk to them before I leave.
3.I have so many unaswered questions! I wish people would just tell me these things!

I have to go finish packing.
Stargirl